The Game

The fifth and final installment of a short series about singledom.


Life has taught me that all dating experiences are simply little games we play to try to meet our match. You often hear the dating process referred to as the "dating game". Well, I don't like this game. I don't know how to play it and I don't really care to learn. I think we, as humans, are above these silly little games but I feel like we don't try to rise above it because it's all we've ever known. There are many rules to these games and several strategies for playing. And the most frustrating part about all of it is that everyone plays by different rules and every one seems to know different tactics that are magic and will always work regardless of the situation.

Por ejemplo:

1. Touch a boy's elbow three times and you'll land yourself a date-but it's gotta be the elbow (I'm not sure why the elbow and I'm not sure why three is the magic number, it's just what I've heard)

2. After a good date, text the boy a few minutes after you get inside and remind him that you had a wonderful time on said date (personally, I think this one seems a little over-bearing)

3. Once you get a girl's number you must wait three days before giving her a call, so as not to seem too eager. (I disagree with this one. Why put off something that could turn out to be an amazing thing? As Harry says, "I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.")

4. Be mysterious, don't open up too soon or too quickly. You must leave an element of mystery so that he'll want to ask you out again (actually, if he's not gonna be interested in me I'd like to know right off so what you see is what you get)

5. Break the touch barrier to ensure your date that you're really interested (What if he has a large personal bubble? Or you really like to touch people and you really touch everyone whether you're interested or not? Or what if you just don't like to touch people?)

6. If he said he'd call again then don't contact him, he'll contact you (I see some validity to this rule, actually, but I think there are always exceptions)

7. No dating people in the ward because if it doesn't work out it gets awkward and messy (I think this is incredibly limiting)

8. You can't date roommates (a little more validity to this one than ward dating, but I still believe there are exceptions)

9. Don't date people you work with (again, limiting yourself; so what if things get a little awkward? On the other hand if things end up working out aren't you ending up with a pretty great thing?)

10. Don't text your date after you get inside; wait until the next day (doesn't this break Rule #2 AND #6?)


To these rules and all the others out there, I echo Ted Mosby:

"Well, I'm sick of all the rules! There's too many of them! The Hot/Crazy Scale, the Lemon Law, the Platinum Rule...If everyone in the world followed every one of your rules, the human race would cease to exist. Yes, chances are Stella and I are not going to live happily ever after. The overwhelming odds have it ending bad. And when that happens, it'll be for one of a million possible reasons. But that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try. And when it does fail, so help me God, it's not gonna be because of some rule."
("How I Met Your Mother"-Season 3 Episode 11)


The tricky thing about the dating game is everyone is different; every social encounter and interaction is different. There is no one way to play the game. There is no one way to score a date and meet your match. So throw the rules out the window. Stop playing games and start using your words.