Gratitude-Day #4

And the list goes on...

1. Safe arrival in Idaho Falls

2. My parents' warm house

3. The Sandwich Tree

4. Fudge-Covered Mint Oreos

5. My knowledge of the Gospel

Gratitude-Day #3

And the Gratitude Daily 5 continues with:

1. My Apartment

2. Tums

3. Steve

4. The Book of Mormon

5. A Functioning Washer and Dryer

Gratitude-Day #2

And to continue my list, 5 more things I'm grateful for:

1. Hot Showers

2. Prayer

3. High School Musicals (actual musicals put on by high schools; not to be confused with Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens)

4. Cassie

5. My Car

Gratitude-Day #1

Tonight at Ward Prayer Lacee issued a challenge to everyone to take some time each day this week to write down five things you're grateful for. I'm taking on that challenge. So, 5 things I'm grateful for:

1. The Atonement

2. The Temple

3. My Family

4. Lacee

5. Ability to play the piano

Wear the Ring

Riddle me this: Why do so many males choose to not wear their wedding ring?

We all remember "The Red Bull Disaster", right? Well, I was simply hours away from repeating that experience-to some extent.

I'm currently working for Parks and Recreation in Logan and we happen to meet in the same large warehouse as all the other departments-Light & Power, Water, Streets, etc.-and last week I happened to notice a rather handsome man in the Street Department-let's call him Handsome. I decided to keep an eye on him, mostly because he was good on the eyes but also to see if there was any way I could tell whether or not he was married. He didn't wear a ring (surprise surprise) so that wasn't to be of any help.

Yesterday I confessed to my good friend, Steve, that there's a Street Department guy I've been wondering about. Today I clued him in on who Handsome was. Steve didn't know whether or not Handsome was married. I don't want to be checking out someone else's husband so Steve said he'd look into it.

On my drive home today I gave myself a little pep talk. (I tend to do that fairly often because if I don't, I will think myself out of a lot of opportunities or allow my mind to carry me to a realm that no longer resembles anything close to potential reality) "This dude is probably married so don't even start thinking about what you could say to him if you find out he's single." By the time I got home (not even 10 minutes after leaving work) I had decided there was nothing to be done about it. Steve will find out, my curiosities will be satisfied, and we'll all move on.

By the time I got out of the shower (probably 20 minutes later) I had decided that if there was an opportune time (like this morning when Handsome and I both arrived at the same time and he held the door open for me) I'd just flat out ask him if he was married. I figured I got nothing to lose-my last day is Friday. So the guy says he's married, I finish my job with Parks and Rec, and I never see him again. I could totally do this! I've been bold before. It's rare but it has been known to happen. So I had it all planned out, I was prepped and ready. I had the kahones, I had the opening line, I just needed the situation. And then Steve called me up.

Steve: "You are not going to believe what I found out!"

Me: Maybe the guy's gay or in the process of a divorce or has like six months left to live or something. "Okay, what'd you learn?"

Steve: "Well he's married."

Me: Okay, minor sting-not a big deal. You prepped yourself for that one. "Ok...?" Maybe his marriage is going down the pooper and he'll be single soon? Where is this going?!

Steve: "You know the blond lady that works at the landfill?"

And then Steve proceeded to describe this lady who apparently looks much older than Handsome and Steve just can't believe that Handsome is married to someone who looks that old because Handsome looks so darn young! Well, that's crazy because obviously I think Handsome deserves a better looking woman than that but this isn't the big deal he made it sound like it was.

Steve: "So then I learn that Handsome's wife may look old compared to him, but in reality he looks much younger than he really is."

Jalayne: "So how old IS this guy?"

Steve: "Well, ya ready for this? He has a 17 year-old daughter."

After the "You've got to be kidding me!" I was speechless. Not only does this man not wear a wedding ring to let the world know he's taken, he looks like he could be 27 when really he's probably almost 40! Handsome has a daughter that's a mere 7 years younger than me! I wasn't prepared for that one. I wondered if Steve got information about the wrong guy but 'tis not so. Handsome is not only taken but WAY out of the age range of date-ability.

So then Steve and I got to talking and wondering why so many men don't wear a wedding ring. He thinks it's dumb and I completely agree. We started thinking about the other guys we work with and realized that most of them don't wear their wedding ring. We're going to survey the situation tomorrow and see how everyone responds.

I decided that it would really bother me if my husband didn't wear his ring on a regular basis. There are exceptions-playing sports, working out-but I'd want him to wear it just about every other time. Not just to ease my mind and lessen the chances of some bold chick hitting on my man, but because I know how annoying it is for single girls to scope out guys in a crowd, spot someone attractive, notice the absence of a ring, and still not know whether the guy has a wife or not.

So here's my plea to all ringless, yet married men out there: Just wear the ring if for no other reason than simple common courtesy! Think of all those singletons out there working to build up the courage to come talk to you only to be shot down because you actually have a wife. Save us the pep talk it takes to build the courage, the effort of the actual conversation, and the embarrassment that will undoubtedly ensue. You don't like jewelry? You lost your ring? It's a safety hazard? Draw one on there every morning.

A taken finger means a taken man.

On behalf of all singleton women: Help us out-wear the ring!

Life as I've Known It

My lack of blogging hasn't been due to being busy. I'm not pregnant, I'm not planning a wedding, I'm not even busy dating someone. I've simply not had the desire to blog. But today I find myself with a lack of things to do to keep me busy (Logan City did not need my presence or abilities today due to crummy weather). So allow me to highlight my experiences over the last eight months.

March:

Remember "The List"? Well, I've now crossed off #13. I've walked "The Strip" in Las Vegas. First thing I've crossed off that list so it felt pretty good.

Yes, that is me doing a head stand in Las Vegas. Aunt Diane, aren't you proud?

April:

I finished making my payments for my rafting trip that was coming up in August. I also started preparing to move.


May:

My roommate, Andrea, got married.

Lacee, Russell, Andrea, and Me

Lacee and I moved to an awesome new apartment. (No more living in the Crap House! YAY!!) Our apartment is part of a little apartment community on the west side of town. I love living away from the college scene and feeling like I live somewhere a little more established. We had to furnish it ourselves, and believe you me, it's awesome! We each have our own room and our own bathroom. It's almost an ideal living situation. It'd be completely ideal if I shared this apartment with a husband (no offense Lacee).

We can thank DI for the chairs and my parents for the table.

We can thank DI for the coffee table and my grandparents for the couch.

Oh, and with moving into this awesome apartment, Lacee and I moved into an AWESOME ward where people actually attended church to worship and not just to socialize and hang out! Sure, the ward was full of late-twenty-somethings and early-thirty-somethings but they were there to worship! It was such a relief. We were growing weary of the 18-22 year olds texting and talking all through every church meeting. It was one of the best moves I've made since living in Logan.

June:

I welcomed a new nephew into this thing we call earth life. I now have 5 nephews and 2 nieces.

Me and Baby Benji

July:

Former roommates, Andrea and Russell (he was just kind of a roommate), resided in Maryland over the summer. Lacee and I made a spur-of-the-moment-decision to go visit them.

Lacee, Andrea, and Me at the Washington Monument; Lacee, me, and Andre at the Lincoln Memorial; Andrea, Me, and Lacee at the Capitol Building



We drove up to Hershey, PA and enjoyed the theme park, Hershey Park.
Me, Lacee, Andrea, Glen (Russell's cousin), and Russell



And I enjoyed one of the best roller coasters I've ever been on.

On July 28th I was packed and ready to head down to South Jordan where I would spend the night so Ashley could take me to the airport the following day. On my way out the door of LRA, my principal asked to see me in his office where I found out that due to budget cuts I would be losing my job. I left the school in a daze. I called my parents, called my siblings, questioned whether or not I should continue with my plans to leave town, and ultimately decided that some time away would be nice.

On July 30th I started my rafting journey on the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon. I spent 8 days on a raft and 7 nights camping with 13 complete strangers. I had the time of my life and of just about everything I've done and seen, that experience tops the charts.

Me at Deer Creek Falls; Ken and Me on the raft; View from our hike up to the granaries



The family I wanted to become a part of; Canyon Scenery; My Rafting Family (Our 3 guides are in front)

August:

My rafting trip carried me into August. Upon my returned I broke the news to my students, cleaned out my classroom, and started up work again with Logan City where I returned to two of my true loves: mowing and weed whacking.

September:

Since my job change I have had to cut back on some of the things I enjoyed doing. Of the things I had to cut back on, the one I miss the most is traveling. I feel like I always had my next trip planned, my next adventure in the works; but that is to be no more...for now. I spent the month of September eating fried food (my favorite!) at various state and county fairs.


October:

I attempted to rally a group together to go on a sky diving adventure with me. I had been saving the money for the last two years and nothing was going to stop my this year. It was to the point where I had about 6 people semi-committed to going with me. One by one they all began to drop out until there were 3 of us. One discovered there was a weight limit and he was no longer able to come. Then there were 2 of us. The other one never told me what time he wanted to go. He never responded to my queries, so I gave up on him. It wasn't really anything I want to do alone but after all the planning my heart was set and my mind wouldn't change. I had the money and Ogden was only a 40 minute drive away. Who knew when I'd have this chance again? So I went sky diving. Cross #10 off "The List"!

At the beginning of the month I applied for Anasazi, a wilderness program in Arizona. I had a phone interview with them a couple of weeks ago and was offered an opportunity to experience a two-week training. It would kind of be a trial period to see if this was something I really wanted to do. For some reason, a reason which I'm not completely sure, I didn't feel great about going. So I didn't go.

On October 30th I went through the Logan Temple and received my endowment. I'm now experiencing life with garments. I always felt like this would be the easiest transition for me but I'm finding it to be the most difficult. Oh well. Great things take sacrifice.


November:

This is my last week working for Logan City. I'm officially ready to substitute anywhere in Cache Valley and I am hoping to be able to fill every day of every week for the new few months with substitute teaching. We'll see how it pans out. Maybe next month I'll find that I need to get myself a second job. Who knows? I sure don't.

So the last few months have brought twists and turns. I felt like I was bucked off the horse in July. It took me a while but I feel like I'm back on the horse and we're both just sitting there. I've got the reins, I just don't quite know which direction to lead the horse. I tried the Anasazi route, didn't feel good about it, and back to Square 1. Not a fun place to be but sometimes that's life. I'm thinking about getting a health endorsement, but that means more school-which isn't enticing-but we'll see if that direction feels good anyway. Such freedom is exciting and quite adventurous. I'm kind of getting tired of all this adventure!


Things that Haven't Changed:

1. I'm still diseased a.k.a. single (that's for another post)

2. I'm still wish I could mow and weed whack year round in Logan

3. Chocolate cake is still my favorite breakfast

4. I still keep my room as neat and tidy as someone with OCD.

5. My ward boundaries have changed since mine and Lacee's move but the attitude of "Be sure you go to church and attend every activity to make sure you find someone to marry!" is still ever present.

6. Ward prayer is still at the bottom of my list of favorite things about singles wards-but lucky me! Lacee and I are the Ward Prayer Coordinators.

7. I still hate winter but I'm really looking forward to snow mobiling season.

8. I still enjoy a $1.00 large Diet Coke from McDonald's every morning.

9. Clark is still on a mission in Rome and I still really miss him.

10. I still love playing 2-touch football and wish more people wanted to play with me.


So I guess you could say that over the course of the last eight months, this has been life as I've known it.

Uninvitations

Back in the day, when I was in high school, I ran around with a large group of friends. This large group consisted of smaller groups that were tight knit and sometimes a little exclusive. These smaller groups planned little outings, to which I wasn't invited, and they had a wonderful time. How did I know I wasn't invited? Because while I was in the same room they would talk about plans and discuss things to pack and things they would do on this wonderful adventure I wasn't to be a part of. Was I offended? A couple of times, yes. Did I wish I was invited? On some of the trips, yes. Even if I had been invited and was given permission to go would I still have gone? Probably not. Do I harbor ill feelings towards these people today? NOT AT ALL! How can I harbor ill feelings when I learned something from these experiences?

Let me share my words of wisdom. First of all, just because you associate with someone or people who make plans doesn't entitle you to an invitation to be a part of those plans. If someone you know has made plans to do something and you're not invited-don't sweat it. So what? You weren't invited. Who cares why? Maybe there isn't even a reason you weren't invited. Maybe you just weren't. Don't get all bent up about it. Life is too short to worry about such trivial things. If not being invited puts your panties in a twist then make some plans of your own to fill the "good time" you think you'll be missing out on. But under no circumstances should you invite yourself. Let me say this again just to make sure that you're not reading so quickly that you missed out on one of the main points of this wisdom: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU INVITE YOURSELF.

If someone is planning a trip and you're not invited it could simply be an oversight. And if he/she talks to you about the trip and realizes you weren't invited and wants you to be there, he/she will extend an invite. If that invite is not extended you should STILL NOT INVITE YOURSELF. You don't know what the plans are. You don't know who is going to be there-maybe he/she planned a trip with someone you can't stand to be around. You don't know the financial situation. You don't know the time frame. Maybe he/she considered inviting you but decided that he/she couldn't because of obligations he/she knows you have. Maybe he/she thought he/she was being thoughtful by not tempting you with an invitation to distract you from the responsibilities life requires. The fact is, you don't know. So don't assume.

Assumption leads to hurt feelings. "He/she didn't invite me to go camping this summer! I guess we aren't as good of friends as I thought!" Assumption leads to drama "He/she didn't invite me because his/her best friend hates me and I don't even know what I did! He/she is going to have to choose. It's either the best friend or me!" Assumption leads to drastic measures "Well, if I wasn't invited to his/her party then I'm going to plan a cruise and invite everyone but him/her."

Last of all, assumption leads to offense. We learned from Elder Bednar in the October 2006 General Conference talk "And Nothing Shall Offend Them" that being offended is a choice...

"When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else."

Someone doesn't not invite you to something to hurt you, disturb you, or to cause distress. So get over your non-invite and don't give it a second thought.

Remember these three things:

1. Just because you associate with people who make plans doesn't mean you're entitled to invitation

2. Under no circumstances do you invite yourself to something you weren't originally invited to

3. CHOOSE not to be offended