Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Ready for More?


So I am still on my Feature Films for Families kick and I decided to watch "Split Infinity" while I walked on the treadmill tonight. As it turns out Mom threw this one out, too so I made a trip to the D.I. today. I found three copies; one was three dollars, one was unmarked, and the third was one dollar. Odd, yes?

I won't take up space with the plot although I do think that it is a worthy one dollar investment. Just view it once and if you don't think you got your money's worth-I would invite you, yet again, to come chat with me about it and we can have a deep, thoughtful discussion.

There was a specific quote that sparked my interest tonight: "Sometimes things will happen that you won't understand, but if you look closer you will always be able to see the hand of God."

I like it. I really do. I am one of those people that believes that everything happens for a reason. I know we use our agency, but I know that Heavenly Father guides us by the Spirit, which is one of the many blessings we receive from being righteous. Even though we are guided, it doesn't always get us to where we want to be right when we think we should be there. I'm going to go out on a limb and get a little personal.

If you knew me you would know that I used to have a six year plan and by the end of my freshman year of college that plan went out the window. If you knew me you would also know that I really want to get married and start a family. I look for opportunities, don't get me wrong. I search for them, I pray for them, yet to no avail. Let me sum-up a few experiences.

I met a boy my freshman year that I was really interested in. We had a couple of classes together my sophomore year and I got to know him better. I really wanted to date him and spend more time with him. At the end of our sophomore year he told me he was transferring to another school. I started to move on and exercise my interests elsewhere. The very first week of the fall semester of my junior year he called me and told me he just met one of my best friends. They started to date. They got married. When I first found out, my heart hurt a little but my mind-set changed because I understood that it happened for a reason. I see them together and I know that their paths were meant to cross, that they were supposed to be together, and that there were things that I was supposed to learn through my friendship with him, and that's where it was supposed to end for me.

Last summer I discovered that I was interested in a boy that I had met at school and known for a few years. We were good friends and I feared crossing the friendship line. It was something I felt strongly about so I decided to talk to him about it. We "happened" to be talking one day and the topic of dating came up. I had literally just opened my mouth to tell him how I felt when he said, "So I've been interested in so-and-so, (the name was not my own) and I don't know what to do because we're such good friends..." From there I gave him advice, he jumped in with both feet, and they got married last month. My heart hurt a lot with this one. It took me a while to understand because I wasn't looking closely enough. Although I thought I was very compatible with this boy, it wasn't meant to be. We were both making the right choices, but we weren't being led to each other. I learned a lot from his example though, and he thanked me for giving him the courage to jump in with both feet.

Last story. I met a boy this past summer who taught me a lot. We became good friends, I fell for him, he didn't feel the same way. We were talking one night and the topic of dating came up. (I am so good with these conversations. If you know of a boy you want to date, just let me know. I will say all the right words to encourage him to date you and not me). We started talking about him and his best friend. Long story short, after our conversation he started dating her. They dated for a few weeks. I found out last week that he broke up with her. Who knows what happens next? All I know is that I met him for a reason and I have grown so much because of who he is.

I don't share these experiences in search of pity or to have you feel sorry for me. I share these experiences because I have learned so much from them. If I had looked closer when they were happening, I don't think the pain would have been less; but I think the frustration would have been less because I would have understood more. We don't lose pain from understanding; sometimes things just hurt. What we do lose is anger and hostility which is what allows us to continue serving and living the way Heavenly Father intends.

"Sometimes things will happen that you won't understand" (like having the desire to get married and getting shafted over and over) "but if you look closer you will always be able to see the hand of God" (like learning and growing from each and every experience). I can look at each of these examples and not only see the hand of God in my own life, but in the lives of those who were involved.

The hand of God is there, in all things. Look for it. Acknowledge it. Be grateful for it.

4 comments:

Kim said...

Jalayne, what an amazing woman you are! While your experiences can be argued as fairly typical, you gain so much from every single thing you go through and have insights that can be rivaled by no one. The counsel you give others (and not just potential beaus) is priceless!

george & clarine review said...

You are so full of wisdom - intelectually and spiritually- well beyond your years. I agree with you and Elder Bednar, there aren't any accidents and coincidences only "tender mercies of the Lord." gwh

J. said...

Jay-what a powerful post. It really makes me think about events in my life that have changed me and make me become a better person. what an upbeat and lovely individual you are :)

diane said...

Well, Philosopher, what if you can't even figure out what happened in your life, let alone the reason.