"Look Who's Back From the Dead"

I am alive. I have survived. Life will go on. But I dare say it felt pretty touch-and-go from Saturday evening until Monday morning. I went out to dinner with some friends on Saturday night and attributed the tummy ache to overeating. The funny thing was that I really hadn't eaten a whole lot at dinner. Around 8:00 I felt like I was going to explode so I went for a walk with some girlfriends. Throughout the walk my tummy rumbled and about halfway through I received an urgent alert from the cellar...but no bathroom in sight. I clenched and continued and the alert went away. We turned around and headed home.

About half a block from my house I received a cry from my stomach. I started getting the sweaty palms and the extra saliva production in my buccal cavity. Luckily, it too went away. The cellar screamed out again and I ran into my house and straight to the bathroom. "Whew. Let's hope that solved things," I thought as I greeted Colette and Cassie at the door. My neighbor, Ben, came up to borrow a movie and while we were chatting I felt the sweaty palms and the extra saliva. I politely excused myself, went into the bathroom, and hurled everything I had eaten in what felt like my entire life. I brushed my teeth and returned to continued my conversation with Ben. Once Ben left I said to my roommates, "Surely that's the end of it."

About fifteen minutes into a movie the squirts were back. I ran in, did my business, and walked out. I turned around and walked back in and threw up. I wiped my mouth and walked out. I turned around and walked back in and squirted some more. I surrendered to the couch feeling like death, not knowing the worst was yet to come. After about five or six times of sitting on the toilet, I decided my tooshy was way too sore to keep going like this so I clenched with all of my might for the rest of the night. It wasn't possible to keep my mouth shut; believe me, I tried. I went to bed with a garbage can, a box of Kleenex, and a throw-up bowl.

I woke up once every hour (sometimes twice) grabbed the bowl, dry heaved, removed the matted hair from my forehead, wiped my mouth, trashed the Kleenex, replaced the bowl, and collapsed on my mattress wondering when it would end. Around 4:30 I was so dehydrated and wanting water but knew I should wait to see if I had finished throwing up. I called Dad for comfort only to discover that he and Julie were experiencing the same rotten death bed as myself.

About 8:30 Sunday morning the retching stopped and the diarrhea sensations slowed down. I planted myself in front of the couch and was in and out of sleep for the greater part of the day. I did feel well enough around 12:00 to hold an Activities Committee meeting, which lasted about fifteen minutes, at my house. I spent the rest of the day feeling trampled by elephants and wondering how I could ever bring myself to eat another deli-meat sandwich. I went to bed with out optimistic thoughts of attending work the next day.

I skipped work on Monday because my tummy was still a little unhappy with me and my bowels were too loose for comfort. Because of the ailing tummy I didn't eat a whole lot on Monday resulting in skipping work on Tuesday due to lack of energy. After a hearty potato bar for dinner last night, I felt energized and ready to get back to life. Kim had e-mailed to inform us of the Salmonella outbreak. After matching every symptom listed in the e-mail, I was convinced that I was an innocent victim of Salmonella from tomatoes. (I don't even EAT tomatoes! That's how innocent I was/am!)

Today was my first day back to work. I forgot to set my alarm for 5:45 but woke up at 6:11, still giving me enough time to get to work only a few minutes late. I shared my horrible experience with interested co-workers, welcomed their sympathies, and moved right along with my day. I completed a full day of work, taught two piano lessons, and even did the lowest level aerobic workout. My tummy still feels a little out of whack; it hurts occasionally, isn't quite ready for all of the food I enjoy oh-so-much (which is probably okay) and the insurmountable amount of air that gurgles through my intestines is a wee bit uncomfortable at times, but overall I'm feeling better.

The best news of the day/week (so far): I had my first solid poop since Saturday afternoon! This is improvement. This is a good thing. Who wouldda thunk I'd ever be so excited about such a thing?